First World Problems.

I have mentioned (and I will mention again I'm sure) that I struggle with "first world" gluttney and what we perceive as our "needs", but you wouldn't have know that if you spoke with me the past 4 weeks.  I am so ashamed and embarrassed. 

We listed our subdivision home about a month ago.  It's a nice home.  Large on the global scale of homes, but quaint by many Canadian standards.  We love our house and how it has protected and sheltered our family during our early years.  But (and there's always a but with humans), we have always desired a farm and want to live a more natural lifestyle, less dependent on the trappings of the consumerism that traps many of us, especially in the first world (Western World, Developed Nations, however you want to lable the rich people of the world). 

So we did it, we approached a local farmer and asked to purchase their home for our homestead.  They said yes...  and my concerns about gluttney disappeared as my dreams took over. 

As we built our dream homestead in our imaginations, as it began to take shape, we started making lists of things we needed... tractors (not the old rickety type, oh not for the Sharps), fencing, new furniture, an extended pantry, a bathroom reno, chickens, cattle, hay, trailer,... and on the list went.  It was indeed exiting...

Then things got complicated with lawyers and banks and zoning and lots of things above my head...  A mortgage seemed like a lost cause. 

And no body seemed to want to see our beautiful house...

And our bank account seemed to dwindle with some bills looming... 

We started to stress a bit... you could feel the tension at home...  not between anyone, but definitely around all of us. 

Scratching our heads we said, we'll press on.  Let's complete the plan...  Let's pray and wait.

Psalm 34:12 - Who out there has a lust for Life?  Can't wait each day to come upon beauty?
Psalm 34:15-16  God keeps an eye on his friends, His ears pick up on every moan and groan.  God won't put with rebels, He'll cull them from the pack.

Then we were hit with a sadness and realized our greed.  Here we were worried about where we'd live and how we'd pay for things when God, the creator of the universe, takes the time to colour the grass.  Look at the sky...  He created it to be a reflection of heaven... in Genesis He calls it the Heavens... surely he will take care of us.

Then visions of women around the world living in what I would call a shack, with no property or cloths or clear direction on where to find food, manage to live with joy and peace in the hearts.  I realized we were putting this farm above all other things.  We wept.  This wasn't us.  We don't get caught up on the trappings of "normal" people...  we "embrace our weirdness"... We look for ways to help the orphans, widows, and the oppressed because in helping them we will be closer to Jesus and we will show the world Jesus's love.  Jesus didn't run to the rich, He embraced the outcast.  Why were we, the rich, not running to Jesus.  We were being gluttens, worried about a house and food. 

Then we realized, for the 1000th time in our lives, that we can't make this farm happen...  It's His farm.  If He wants us to have it, He will take us there.  We praised Him.  We often forget to praise Him for stresses and worries...

Our prayer changed... we stopped praying for His will on our lives, but for our lives to be lead according to His will. 

Our vision for the farm grew more with prayer.  We saw how our farm could produce healthy foods for a local food bank.  We saw how we could help people prepare meals on low to no income... we saw family time by the bon fire and picnics in the fields... small groups using our place to enjoy life together...  we saw opportunities to live The Sharp Life.

We started living our weird life again...  I baked pies, breads, cakes...  we gardened, we walked...  we laughed.  Then the house sold (after receiving multiple offers I might add).  Our mortgage happened (after loosing 3).  Our finances straightened out... 

But still I struggle...  why do I get this fantastic property?  Why do I have food every day?  Why don't I have to walk miles to get clean water?  Why don't I have the same joy I hear in the churches and streets of Haiti and Ethiopia? 

Next step I guess...  getting over my first world guilt and finding my third world joy.